Through A Father’s Eyes (Column Second Draft)

Red sheets and Christmas lights were strewn across the room.  The October weather was too cold for camping, so this makeshift tent would have to do.  The door was left unlocked because he knew she would be there shortly, so he waited, ready to serenade her with the song he had written.  When the song was over he got down on one knee and opened the little box.  My brother, Tyler asked his high school sweetheart Jamie Hubl to marry him.

Incase you were wondering she said yes, but after one look at that diamond it would be hard to say no.  They might have been young, but they truly loved each other and knew they were ready.  They had dated for five years and thought it was time to start a new chapter in thir lives and take on the world together.  During the years they dated, their relationship developed until the point when they knew they were ready for something more, more of a commitment.  It made more sense financially as well, since they knew they were going to be together eventually getting married now meant that they each didn’t have to pay for their own stuff and separate rooms.

Tyler and Jamie stood at the altar and said their vows on September 25, 2010.  Shortly after they were ready to buy their first house here in Kearney.  After some painting, new carpet, and completely redoing the kitchen it was a place for them to call home.  Most students aren’t ready to commit to buying a house while in college and even though Tyler and Jamie weren’t planning on staying in Kearney long-term this was a stepping-stone.  Eventually they knew they would be moving out of Kearney, but didn’t know exactly what their plans were.  They felt like it made more sense to be putting money towards something they could own and get money back from, rather than just throwing money away on rent.”

This past August Tyler and Jamie welcomed their first daughter, Tylee Lanae into this world.  Like several college students, Tyler is now majoring in grocery shopping, cooking, and paying bills, along with changing diapers, cleaning up spit up, and singing his daughter to sleep. Those of you who are parents or have been around people who are, know that their lives were changed forever.

 

School wasn’t really a part of their decision to have kids.  They decided that they wanted kids and we were ready to have them now.  Also, it was important to them to start their family young.  Tyler jokes about not wanting to be old geezers who go to bed early and miss out on stuff.  Instead him and Jamie felt that while they are still able to stay up late and function on not a lot of sleep, it would work better.

The stinkiness of the diapers and the cost of diapers and wipes were what surprised Tyler most about becoming a parent.  Oh and the cost of the baby clothing industry.  How can such tiny material cost so much?

There were times when lack of sleep, work, and stress of homework all built up, but Tyler and Jamie stuck to their schedule, worked together and communicated.  They started spending more time collectively on the family and focused their attention on Tylee, so they wouldn’t feel the stress.  Staying on task and busy really helped.

Getting married and starting a family in college isn’t for everyone.  It’s important that before making these huge life decisions that the people are ready.  Before getting married in a Catholic Church, couples are required to attend an Engaged Encounter weekend.  The weekend is filled with spiritual guidance, real life examples from married couples, and communication about issues some couples may not have ever talked about.  A lot of divorces happen because people don’t talk about the important stuff.  It could be things like whether or not they want to have kids or how they will split their finances.  Programs like this are beneficial for couples, especially if they haven’t talked everything through.  Whether starting a family in school or not, it’s important to always keep an open line of communication in your marriage and new parents need to focus on their baby, as well as each other.

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One thought on “Through A Father’s Eyes (Column Second Draft)

  1. This is a good story. I don’t know many college students who choose to start a family before graduating. Honestly, I don’t know how they’re doing it. This year has be extremely difficult trying to balance work and school. I can’t imagine having a baby to take care of too! This makes me wonder about the strain that the hectic and stressful schedule put on their marriage? It would be interesting to hear a little about what the couple has to say in regards to that. Good story!

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